If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
