Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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