Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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