I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
