Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize