i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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