I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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