Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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