Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
