Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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