he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize