if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Randomize
