if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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