Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
