A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she pinky promised me she was 18
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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