Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
