who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
