i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize