2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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