When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
