I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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