If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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