Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
