Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So much Jack, so little girl.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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