Fuck appropriateness.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
