I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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