Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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