So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
