"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize