His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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