You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
