Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Fuck appropriateness.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
