Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
