there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize