Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
