Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
