At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she looked like the before picture.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
