I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
