better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
