I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
