farters have to be the big spoon...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Randomize
