It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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