Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
