I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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