She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
