i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
what day is it and did you see me today?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
a search helicopter?!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
