i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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