So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize