Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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