you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
