Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

all he gave me for my birthday was sperm

(254): View more from Texas

at least its a homemade gift

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(512): View more from Texas

New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?

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(818): View more from California

I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter

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(908): View more from New Jersey

the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father

(973): View more from New Jersey

i think girls just don't want to fuck you

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.

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