Where did you get a picture of my penis
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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