So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You smell like stripper and shame
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
