Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i drank out of a bidet.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
