We're facebook friends in real life
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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