I hate all girls vehemently.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
