I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
