You're a womanizer and a bitch.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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