I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
