We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
